Being solo with 3 young kids and a lot of hoarded toys, books, teddies… it made for a very stressful life clearing away. I desperately wanted things to be organised so we could find things easily and so it would leave room for creative sparks to happen. Tidying up was becoming very burdensome. Something had to change.
Emotional Impact of Clutter-On Me and the Kids
Our house was getting full of toys, teddies, general clutter and far too many books. I was spending most of the days tidying and the rest of them feeding the kids. It felt impossible. If someone had turned up unannounced they would have thought I’d never ever tidied. I also felt guilty as I found it hard to read a book or spend quality time with the kids without feeling like I had such a long ‘to do’ list.
As a point of interest, a research paper in 2022 found that children raised in household clutter or with hoarders were more likely to become hoarders themselves. This surely gives more motivation for parents of cluttered homes to declutter.
Early Attempts To Declutter
My early attemps to declutter involved secretly binning small broken items. Then we offered that the kids could sell their well-loved but not still used toys. We had a lot of teddies and toys that they were willing to part with for money. We listed those on Facebook Marketplace.
Each time we got rid of items, we seemed to be buying more. One trip to the charity shop and I’d find a load of great new chapter books or books with educational possibilities for the future… The kids would find multiple teddies for only £2 😦 It was feeling like a mission impossible to keep our home looking reasonable.
The Idea That Transformed Our Home: Use The Loft!
Warning: Our attic has coped perfectly with the boxes up there. Overall, the items up there are probably quite light-weight. They are mostly teddies or board game equivalents, although there are a couple of boxes of books. Online suggests that people should consider weight restrictions of their loft storage and storing above supporting walls, rather than middle of rooms. So please do research and be sure your loft can cope with what you’re putting up there.
Sorry to those who don’t have a loft or attic space, but we have a loft which is basically the size of our main home. Using this space was a game-changer. I laid out similar themed toys, such as cars / teddies / characters. Then I asked the kids to sort through all of those items and decide whether they wanted to:
- Keep it for using now – as it’s used often or very special;
- Bin if broken;
- Donate to the charity shop;
- Try and sell; or
- Keep it safe in the loft in case you want it again in the future.
Honestly, half of keep-worthy stuff is now stored in our attic space. Our house still gets messy, but every time I am faced with tidying up, I ask myself whether the items are worth the effort. Are they important to the kids, or is it being thrown around the floor because it is above their level and can be temporarily stored in the loft.
I am a book hoarder, as we love reading so much. I now also have stored books my kids are not yet interested in up in the loft, and donated the rest to charity. The way I work out whether we should donate the book is to ask myself whether I would save and give this book to possible future grandchildren. If not, then I donate it if unused or if they’ve grown out of reading them. If I would save them for possible grandchildren, then I decide whether it goes in the loft or main house. I ask this with all of the books we read, even if they could still read it themselves. Some books are pretty average and if it was a library book you’d not feel your kids would be at a loss if they never read it again. Those are the ones I donate willingly.
We still have a lot of books in our main house, and a fair amount of toys although it really feels quite clear of toys now. It all feels so much less cluttered. I also feel less burdened with tidying as much as I was. I feel more in control of making choices about the items we have around us.
Lessons Learned from Minimalist Parenting
By regularly assessing whether what we are picking up is ‘worthy’ of being picked up, our home becomes more balanced with beneficial belongings. This means, there is less to pick up generally. There are also more possible places for things to be organised into, making everything easier to find. So when your children start screaming about ‘where is my camera!!!’, you can have more of an idea of where it may be.
I also found, with less general clutter, the kids seem to be seeking out things they enjoy more. The other day I bought the kids some notebooks for them to draw or write in. I was surprised that my youngest son has written the most in it. He’s asking how to spell every animal he sees whilst we go on walks. He had shown the occasional small interest in writing words in the past, but never to this extent. It’s either a fluke or a result of there being less to fill his options with.
In the same way as the impact of less toys, I had boring looking books about the Ancient Egyptians, advanced Maths concepts, and about 20 books on the dinosaurs as there once was a slight interest… Now, these books in our main home have been reduced way down. Any worth keeping are safely in the loft ready for if the kids want to deep dive into those topics. The rest will be benefiting another family somewhere. As a result, my kids have genuinely shown more interest in the fewer ‘special’ books I’ve kept down here. Surprising books I have recently caught them reading were things like Egyptology which is engaging for my children with lift the flap and pull out items. It also looks visually beautiful to entice my children in.
Involving Kids in the Process
I was surprised that my children quickly identified toys which were broken and could be thrown. I had (wrongly) assumed they did not want to part with these toys. But they easily did. The idea of storing things safely in the loft actually made this process of decluttering with young kids very easy. I was also surprised at how they could filter through what they wanted to keep for the loft and had some attachment towards, vs items which they would try to make some money out of. They also were quite specific in deciding which of a set of toys they liked the most and wanted to keep available for play.
Practical Decluttering Tips
Here are some decluttering ideas that helped with my sorting process.
- Would you give it to your grandchildren? This is a less direct question, since the likelihood is you aren’t yet a grandparent, and so it can be easier to imagine whether something would be special or just junk.
- Anything worth keeping but not at your children’s current ages can be stored in any loft space for when the time comes.
- Use a marker pen to label up storage boxes which can help with finding things from the loft when needed. I also tried to put similar things in a similar area, e.g. there is a section of the loft with boxes of teddies. (Yes, we truly have boxes of teddies, my kids are big on falling for a cuddly toy in the charity shop!).
- As and when tidying up, try and think ‘is this worth tidying’? If it isn’t, I’ve even gone ahead and just put those things in the loft or donated them. For example we had a load of playing cards, which my kids have rarely used in the way they are meant. So they have temporarily gone in the loft until the kids are less inclined to throw things like that all over the place.
Managing Guilt and Sentimentality
I got on such a cleaning spree, that I do regret one item I got rid of. When I was little, long story short, my Dad pretended he was Santa and rang our front door bell dropping off a teddy I really wanted. I loved this teddy. It came with me everywhere, including when I went to University. It slept with me even during my first marriage. Eventually my elephants went into the loft until we had children. I brought them out for my kids and was very excited to gift them my childhood favourite teddy. Only to find my kids had so many of their own they weren’t too interested. As a result, I got rid of this teddy. I have felt occasionally guilty since. Fortunately, I’m old enough to manage this guilt over my elephant. But it could be something a child would feel more deeply since they may have some regret over selling or donating something.
The Ongoing Journey
It is worth noting that decluttering is an ongoing process. Whilst it may start with a massive shift in toys and excess books, the process is continually in action every time you tidy up. I even start writing up a list of which items can go in the loft when I get the next batch of storage boxes, or when some become available in the loft. For example when hanging up mine and my husband’s clothes the other day, I realised half the wardrobe was taken up with formal wear. Whilst we may occasionally need these for a wedding or funeral, it’s so infrequent. So they are the most recent items to go into our loft storage. Now our wardrobe feels less cluttered too. I could only start to see mine and my husband’s excesses once we had downsized significantly on other clutter.
Unexpected Benefits
I didn’t expect that the kids would be so eager to sell some of their items in exchange for cash. This has helped them refresh what they have, but since they get less back than what they originally spent it inevitably still downsizes what we own.
I also didn’t imagine I would have more time for being with the kids. I’ve been able to take them swimming more regularly to a local hotel pool. I’ve also been able to take them to the park, without feeling like anything at home is left undone.
The biggest unexpected benefit is that I am generally doing more steps per day. I guess when the house was cluttered and overwhelming with mess, I tried to avoid doing the clearing up. It didn’t feel like you would get anywhere fast by sorting a room to find it messy again 5 minutes later. Now, I am happy to walk around and tidy and pick up. It’s like I have control over it, because I’m choosing that these items are important. And reminding myself that if I’m feeling frustrated over the clutter, to work out what is worth keeping.
Conclusion
Hopefully the storage ideas in this blog post will offer you practical help, and be inspiring for any parents facing similar challenges. The loft space has essentially doubled our storage capacity, since we have a loft which takes up the whole square footage of our bungalow. This has been monumentally helpful in keeping on top of the housework, and is benefiting my overall daily step count as well as getting the kids out to do other fun things. Just a final reminder to take caution and be sure how much weight your attic can hold before doing the same.
Gentle Parent 