I’ve been thinking about my Dad a lot recently. Sometimes I read through previous poems to help identify and release my feelings about his death. I found this poem I wrote around a year ago. I realised how many other like minded parents view that you should not let your emotions be affected by another person. That your feelings are in your control, which means you are in control of letting yourself have some peace. Essentially that another person should not influence our feelings.
Or… perhaps… I’ve come to the acceptance that I don’t need peace from my Dad. If I allowed that peace, then his memory is forgotten. It may be for the best to just continue to embrace those feelings as they come. Afterall, that’s as close as I may ever be to my Dad again. Why push any feelings of him away?
How do these thoughts about missing a loved one, and wanting to push those emotions aside, link to gentle parenting? Honestly, all of those negative emotions are similar to other challenging emotions we can feel about our children. Those feelings are conjured up about some grief or emotions we are reminded of by our child. Instead of pushing them aside, we should fully feel them, going right into the depths of that unfelt emotion. Only then can we share a life in peace with the child we love. See my previous post about dealing with my child’s thumb sucking habit, which caused an intense emotional reaction in me. I encouraged myself to fully feel my emotions triggered by my daughter. I am now as close as I can be to my daughter again, in a similar way to being as close to my deceased Dad as I may ever be.
Dad – Help Me Get Over You
What if you were still here to see my beautiful life
What if you hadn’t left so quickly like you did
What if you saw that I have now become a happy wife
What if all these what ifs, I could get rid
How come you don’t let me know you are there
How come you still go around and around my mind
How come you left me without even a care
How come all these how comes are such a grind
Why does my heart feel you with me every day
Why are you still with me when not in sight
Why do our memories no longer feel two way
Why do all these whys feel so right
When will you help me get over you, let me move on, let me be free
When will you just come back, just once, just today, just now, to see me…