Sometimes, the stories we carry from our own childhoods are a tangled mix of light and shadow. When my young kids asked me to share my earliest memories, I found myself walking a delicate line — wanting to protect their innocence while honouring the truth of my past. This poem is a glimpse into thoseContinue reading “Poem: What I Tell My Children”
Category Archives: Trauma
Poem: Strings and Wings
For much of my life, I felt like a puppet—my actions dictated by fear, perfectionism, and a constant urge to please. Growing up in an authoritarian home where affection was conditional and expectations unyielding, I learned early to silence my true self for the sake of harmony and approval. It took years of struggle, loss,Continue reading “Poem: Strings and Wings”
Why Our Kids’ Freedom Means More Stress for Us
Have you ever felt torn between wanting your child to be independent and worrying about what might happen if you let go? You’re not alone. Autonomy is defined as “the ability to make your own decisions without being controlled by anyone else”. Thinking of our kids, the more control we give our children, the less stress they experience. As children gain autonomy, parents naturallyContinue reading “Why Our Kids’ Freedom Means More Stress for Us”
Poem: No Contact With Narcissistic Parent
I’ve mentioned previously my choice to go no contact with my Mum. This one came from a place of anger and sadness at feeling misunderstood about why I was no contact with my mum. I guess you could say, a lifetime of feeling shunned and ashamed, scared and unloved can’t be explained in a sentenceContinue reading “Poem: No Contact With Narcissistic Parent”
Selective Mutism vs Shyness
I have 3 children aged 8 years and 6.5 year old twins. Shyness at the level they display it seems quite unusual. I got alarmed when other parents, on first meeting at a group, would say ‘My Child is Shy Too!’, but then their kid would be swiftly be running off and chatting within theContinue reading “Selective Mutism vs Shyness”
The Fear of Physically Hurting Your Children
As a child my Mum used physical force and fear to try and control my behaviour, or perhaps to release her frustration. I forgive my Mum of this as it’s just her traumas surfacing and she did not find a way to deal with them. I also know how stressful it can be when yourContinue reading “The Fear of Physically Hurting Your Children”
Poem About Working Through Childhood Trauma
My last blog post was about dealing with my childhood trauma by releasing my fears. I wrote that post hopeful that I wouldn’t find myself re-triggered by my daughter’s thumb sucking. I had a few moments where I felt overwhelmed again, and I went back through the process written in my last blog post. IContinue reading “Poem About Working Through Childhood Trauma”
Dealing With Your Own Childhood Traumas: When You Feel Fear
The ultimate emotion caused by childhood trauma is fear (for example see this research paper). With that in mind, how do we determine what our fears are when we feel triggered by our children? Any gentle parents who have been working through their childhood traumas know that their triggers are caused by their own traumas.Continue reading “Dealing With Your Own Childhood Traumas: When You Feel Fear”
Poem: Premature Twin in Intensive Care
Having one twin in intensive care, while you and the other twin are in another place, is simply soul destroying. You have overwhelming pain that make it nearly impossible to move without help. This makes it impossible to go and visit your twin in intensive care very much. You have to convince yourself that theContinue reading “Poem: Premature Twin in Intensive Care”
Is It Possible to Change Your Toxic Upbringing to Become Gentle Parents
There are many challenges for parents passionate about raising their babies gently into children and through to adulthood. I write in this blog as a mother who in some ways was on course to become a toxic mother. I feel that without gentle parenting, I’d have probably resorted to smacking and shouting by now, notContinue reading “Is It Possible to Change Your Toxic Upbringing to Become Gentle Parents”
Gentle Parent 